Mary Njoku laments overlooked role of women as society celebrates men as providers

Actress Mary Remmy Njoku has decried what she describes as society’s failure to recognise the weight women carry, both at home and in business.

In a lengthy post on her Instagram page, Njoku recounted a conversation with a male colleague she had hired for a project.

According to her, the man lamented the pressure to provide, earn money, build a business, and support those who depend on him.

“I told him, ‘I understand.’ He said, ‘No, you don’t. You can’t possibly understand. You are a woman. Women don’t understand that kind of pressure,’” she wrote.

Njoku said she did not argue. “I smiled and said, ‘Of course, how can I?’ I signed his cheque, handed it to him, and wished him well. Didn’t argue. Reality doesn’t need defending. Sometimes, your life speaks louder than your words.”

The mother of three further used the encounter to highlight a broader issue, noting that for generations, many African women have carried the financial and emotional weight of families long before marriage.

“They helped raise siblings, paid school fees, supported parents, cared for relatives, and carried responsibilities that were never meant for one person alone. Some are still doing it today, even after getting married and starting families of their own,” she wrote.

Njoku lamented that these contributions are often treated as “expected, invisible, or secondary.”

She added that women’s sacrifices are overlooked, and their achievements are sometimes credited to “the nearest man in the room.”

“Sometimes, their sacrifices are overlooked. Sometimes, their achievements are credited to the nearest man in the room. Sometimes, they’re expected to carry the load so quietly that people forget they were carrying it at all.

“Society has long celebrated men as providers, while treating many women’s contributions as expected, invisible, or secondary.

“To every woman out there who is providing, building, leading, nurturing, sacrificing, succeeding at work, and still holding her home together… Take your flowers.

“You’ve been carrying far more than most people will ever acknowledge. Your work matters. Your sacrifices count. Your success is yours. And you don’t need anyone’s permission to own it,” she concluded.